ad, what my sitch has taught me is that my H's family is HIS family. they are not mine. i had 16 years of giving and doing for them, going to all the things they expected me to go to, giving parties and attending significant "family" events.
no one ever called to see how i was during our year-long separation. i was really hurt.
but then, i thought back to a time when i could have done better about someone's loneliness and it gave me some compassion for their confusion and fears.
i'll tell you what else it did, though. i helped me to know that i will never really be "family" and i no longer have to "pretend" to be and sacrifice so much for those i mean so little to.
my "real" family always kept in touch with me and made sure i knew they cared and gave me their support and more importantly, their time and thoughts.
it's liberating, in a way. i can now have my own life and my H has to maintain a relationship with his family without my efforts. we don't have children together but even if we did, i would be cutting WAY back on my sense of obligations to them.
now, i have none.
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
