SS - how did that hit home for you? What question was in your mind?
LIS
Well my H lied to me through out our 13 year relationship and 9 year marriage. That was huge to me but in the end I convinced myself that he only lied about petty stuff, most of it didn't even have a reason to lie about. Not that there's ever a reason but it was just so petty. I found out after BD that the had kissed someone else about 12- 18 months before and had a EA with her for the next 12- 18 months. I'm pretty sure it went further, right before BD.
It's not even 4 months since he left and he has advertised OW on FB. He has my children sleeping over there with her and her children.
This amoungst other things, I have decided I don't want him back. I love him but I don't like him. My question was about why it hurts so much, when I don't want him back. I mean part of me does want him back but he has crossed too many lines and I see thing a lot more clearly now. Just how much I put up with. I think maybe that is part of it, I want him to want me, so I feel valadated.
I know I don't need that but I think deep down, maybe I do want that.
CV, I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea, I don't snore badly though. I was reccomend to use CPAP and I have to say that is the worst! I tried to use it for almost 2 months before I gave in. Have you ever tried it on? It's terrible, it's like when a big wind takes your berth away and you have to try to breath out against it.
It took me forever to fall asleep with it on and then it would wake me up. I'd wake most mornings to find I'd taken it off during the night.
It was not something I needed, more so something that may help. It might be something that he really can not bear.
What he done with his children was/ is not right or fair but in his mind, maybe he was trying to prove his love for them, maybe he was scared of someone else being a father figure in their life and he wanted to ensure his place to them.
I'm not saying that that makes it any better, even if it is right but there has to be more to it than your seeing. There's always more than meets the eye.
I know how it feels CV, please don't think I'm sticking up for him because I'm not. I'm just trying to maybe throw some different perspectives out there.
As for Christmas, maybe you should have said okay but that you weren't cooking, maybe get take away instead and leave the cleaning/ organizing up to him.
I can definately understand how you felt but well let's just say this was 10 years later. Would you have accommodated S12 ( then S22) even if you felt he should have made the time Christmas Day.
Obviously I have no experience but I've seen relationships before where there is a power struggle between step parents and the bio children.
Infact I have friends who each have their own children, None together. The children are mostly over 17 except one. Both sets of parents, feel that the other treats their own children differently and there is constant power struggle. In some instances, I've even seen one partner explode over the way ther other is doing something for their own child, but yet they do the same thing with their child. It's actually kind of interesting how they don't see anything wrong with it when they do it but feel betrayed when the other does the same thing.
I hope that makes sense.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
