she's a wonderful person but...

[25yearsmlc]

Night before last, lights off, sleep moments away, W thanks me for all the things I took care of during her mom's crisis. Short, sweet statement, not a conversation. I slept good that night.

She communicated her gratitude. While you say it was "not a conversation" it is not clear to me if that's b/c you didn't say a word, or what. But she gave thanks to you. This is a good thing, right? I mean, are you upset by it or happy?

Funeral yesterday, lots of crying exhausted W. She didn't look for any comfort from me.

SIGH...why is this about you? Why can't she be sad HER way?

W's sister sought out her husband's embrace several times after the guests had left. W stayed away from me. Kept up my mantra - not rejection, it's grieving space.

Man, you are hard on her. Just Leave her be. Stop comparing. Lose the scorecard. Stop making this about you and how she treats YOU and how YOU Feel, come on...

I say don't even go there, for AT LEAST 90 days. I mean really a good 6 months but THIS WEEK at the funeral you are judging her and how you feel and if she grabs your hand and blah blah blah??

This must be a nightmare for her.


But again, lights off, sleep coming soon, she opened up about how she's feeling, moving into a different grief phase from relief to loss, the day.

that's great! This is called "intimacy"...it's not just about sex for women (or men I hope).

Slept well, just not long enough.

Why did you start the sentence with "But again"....as if to say she didn't want sex, AGAIN...

of course she didn't. She just buried her mother and you are staring at her with your "needs" and the ONLY WAY she can show you she cares is sex??

You won't admit it but it sure looks that way. She told you important grateful things AND shared her emotions too....but it's not enough for you?

Go back and work on YOUR stuff for now. I mean, this is terribly unfair to her, imo.

just my .02