Hi WAW, I am sure you have a lot that you want to say to me. Really? How do you know this? Maybe she hasn't been contacting you because she has very little to say to you.
I was thinking about the text you sent me the other day saying you are so angry at me about your family and them choosing to have contact with me. What you need to know is that when I'm around them we do not talk about you AT ALL!! Pointing out someones anger usually doesn't go over well with them. You have not been cut off from her family, no need to make excuses for seeing them.
Well OK I did say how proud I was with stepdaughter <-- good and that she has come a long way and how you should feel good about that. <----Don't tell her how she should feel! -but it's ok to say you "hope" she feels good about it. See the difference? This also makes me feel good to see her do well...I hope it makes you feel good too..
But, I have not and will never say any negative things if anything at all about what is going on with you or me!!!! Even if anyone try to bring it up I do not feed into it. This truly hurts me more than you know to hear you say you think I am causing you to hate your family!! It also hurts me to think you are still so angry and upset at me for this long (I just don't get it as i have not been around for so long)!! Again, I question the wisdom of offering justification for seeing her family, which is your family too. And again, pointing out her anger is unlikely to help her to warm up to you.
Please know that I have never done or will never do anything to you or anyone to EVER disrespect you at all!!! I love you way to much to treat you with any disrespect anger or even to ignore you.. You should know that!!! It's ok to tell her you will not disrespect her, but don't tell her what she should know! That makes you sound like her Dad.
Speaking of disrespect, what about her disrespect of you and the marriage?
I just get the feeling that you have a lot to say based on your Disdain and hate/anger and the total ignoring anything positive that has been said, done or even given to you!!! I would never treat you this way at all !!! Again, you don't know that she has a lot to say. It seems more likely the opposite: she has little to say. Nothing good can come from bringing up her "hate and anger". And at least two posters have advised you to not mention the gifts at all.
If you would like to meet to discus things I am now willing to sit and Listen to anything you have to say. Again, I am ready to listen to any and all that you have to say to me with no holding back from you.. I'm all ears...
You are Now willing? You were always willing, she's the one who refused to meet up with you.
What is it exactly you are looking to accomplish here LF? Yeah I know, get her to come back and love you, but we both know that's not going to happen next week. What is your short term goal here? Are you ready to give up on her? Maybe with that information, some of the other posters here can help you write up a better plan/text.
I know you said your coach advised the text. What did she recommend regarding the content of that text?
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
