I am sorry you are going through this. If you feel you could never get over an affair, then I think you have your answer. I am new here so I am not the best for advice but I can offer support.
Me: 40 H: 44 M:3 years T: 4 years Me: S9, D7 H: SS8; Twins: SD1=10 and SD2=10 Both married before.