How have you tried to make him feel that way without telling him? - I'm not sure I have. Doesn't that go against DB principles? But in my sitch I don't think they apply, very confusing. I have asked him to do things around the house, paid attentive and have been responsive when he tells me things. What else can I do without words? I've expressed myself and my remorse through words and my actions I think. But I'm not around him a lot now.
Whose idea was it to get the dogs? What can you do to make things seem less hectic and less cluttered? - we both love dogs, well he lives with a cat now. I can and do keep the house as clean as possible esp when I know he is coming. I don't know how to make it less hectic. I have been taking very good care of the house while he has been gone, even shovelling our 200 foot driveway and painting and rearranging stuff. It has to go up for sale soon (unless he was to come home)
Have you ever tried doing this? - I can't, not while she's going with him. Its a very specific hobby, skeet shooting. I would love to try but it would be too obvious and I can't just show up.
don't. Just say 'I'm having lunch with a friend right now. Thanks'. - wouldn't that be rude or "uncaring" when I should be showing him I care? This is where the db stuff gets me. Why would I say this? What would this type of response do? I would rather just not reply. (And its supper time where I am :))
What kind of an impression can you leave with him while he's there? - that I care about him and our daughter? That he interests me. That I am happy and content and D and I are getting along just find without him? I'm not sure, very confused.
