Rachael, They usually don't confess because they know what they are doing is wrong. Oh, yeah, they don't want to hurt us. If he were to admit what he's doing is wrong, etc., then he would have to face his issues and they are too painful right now and yes, he would also have to deal w/the fall out of what he's done and continues to do.
You are right...actions speak louder than words.
BTW, he checked out of the marriage emotionally about 1-2 years prior to dropping the bomb on you. Unfortunately, you weren't advised of how he felt at that time.
Hang in there and please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
