UF, In response to the post on the 1/8/13... don't put the cart before the horse. IF these things happen... deal with it then. Thinking about it now is moot.
You're right, it is no point. I don't even have the slightest idea to how I would react. I wonder, of course. But I guess I just have to realize it will do me no good to ponder over it.
Quote:
You are still relatively new to the process and if you w has a complaint that you didn't help her - at this stage of the DBing - it doesn't matter if it's true...
it only matter that is what she believes about YOU NOW..
... and only YOU can work on it.
Yes there will come a time that you can set boundaries.. but not yet.
For now - you will just have to keep doing the work.
I mean do you think it's absolutely absurd that your wife feels the way she does?
Her complaint(while still in R) was not that I didn't help, but rather that it took me a while to get around to doing it. (Not that it matters much, just clarifying)
I don't think my X's feelings are absurd. I understand she is upset about having no one to help her move stuff. I symphatize for her struggles in all of this. Yet, I feel that it would be more of my mr.nice guy behaviour/fixer behaviour if I jumped everytime she told me to.
She seeks out contact b/c she needs help and then goes more distant again once she has gotten what she wants. She can't even make a phone call herself? She can be a bit manipulative at times, and I feel respect would be lost if this goes on.
Or am I letting my emotions cloud my judgement?
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
