I do understand that the why I did what I did does not make up for what I did, I really do understand that. I am incredibly remorseful and regretful for what I did and I intend to spend the right of my life making amends for it. I love him and I respect him very much but I do not respect what he is doing now and what he is doing to our daughter.

That is not my understanding of how he was as a father that is the reality. Again I do not want to sound mean against him but it is the truth. He really did not do anything with our daughter unless it was with me as well, never on his own. And in 5 months where he is now supposed to be a "single" father, he has not been at all. In 5 months he has never even taken our daughter outside of our home. there is a very good chance he did not bond with her after the adoption.

No he was not honest with me. I didn't even know at the time I was not meeting his needs because he did not tell me until after I found out about OW. We went out together, slept in the same bed, had sex, told each other we loved each other, (from me it was more I do love you but something is wrong, something is missing) We were living as a couple, I thought we were reconciling and coming back together. I honestly honestly did.

I did not tell him he "needed" to stay home and in fact he didnt. alot of times when I went out my daughter came with me, and when she did stay home with him, he took her to a babysitter, which I only found out about a few weeks ago. I really don't know if I checked out first now or not. Not based on everything I have gone over with my therapist. I did definitely check out though, that I will never deny. But he was the one who was out doing his own thing and me being home with D when she came along.

OW came into the picture in July as far as I know but now I am hearing she has been around alot longer I just don't know if it is true. So no, she did not come into the picture before my MLC, but close to the end of it. There are many factors which led to the MLC but I 100% agree with you that they were my choices and I chose wrong and that I will have to live with. But now he is doing the same thing.