Sexless marriage. H Left. Now retrouvaille in 3wks

[AJW]

I'm a newbie here too AM2012, so others probably have more meaningful advice. However, I see some similarities in our sitch's.

It sounds like you need to worry less about how he feels and more about what you're doing to change/address yourself. By all means, be compassionate and listen to what he's saying, but you need to work on you. I'm saying this because I have to tell myself this too. My wife was home for about 4 weeks just laying around, not talking or showing any emotion with me before finally leaving to stay with her sister last week. I was glad because when she's around it's so so hard for me not to try and talk about the R and press her for information, etc. I think she's depressed as well, but I'm home cleaning the house, making dinners, going to the gym, making plans with friends/family, etc. Of course I think about our sitch and her ALL THE TIME, but as each day goes by I'm thinking more about how I can make myself a better person/husband/father and then implementing those plans. It is hard as hell, but you gotta do it. If he's depressed/sulking/etc., show that you care, maybe ask him if you can do anything and then whatever he says, give a level-headed response. But don't stir the pot.

I don't know what my wife's deal is. I can't tell whether she's depressed because of our sitch, because she can't see our daughter as much...frankly i think she's mostly upset that her reputation is getting ruined by doing this. But whatever...she needs a reawakening and I can't force her to have it. I already had my reawakening, so I'm moving forward with that as best I can...with setbacks of course. One sympathizes.