25 absolutely not on emails. I may dumb but not stupid. I put the emails in my trash folder via gmail and forgot to click delete forever. I clicked delete. So on the iphone if she clicks on my trash folder it would pop that folder and the messages were there. Why I think she read them because when I clicked on my trash folder via iphone those messages were already there. They were popped and it wasn't by me. Set my anxiety high all day long.
I think my ACOA leader meant I gave her the chance to address anything she MAY have read (overanalzying here because I just don't know 100%. I was so exhausted last night) by reaching out to her this morning and stating please try not to hold anything and lets talk about things sooner rather then later when something I may have said bothers or hurts you.
I bascially self sabotaged myself yesterday and was careless causing my own anxiety today. My W was pretty nice to me this am so she may not have read the email threads. Typically if she reads something that bothers her I get silent treatment. Who knows. I've learned from this incident. Very careless and foolish of me. It is difficult because sometimes I don't think. Call me a blonde.
We had such an amazing night last night I would HATE to backslide based on my ACOA threads seeking support. Most of the emails were about the statements my W made about me and if they were character traits of an ACOA person. I re-read them all and I could come to a conclusion if she read them she may get upset thinking possibly I'm a freak lol. Some of the threads praised the communication that were going on between me and W.
