Yes, the no expectations are really hard. As far as GAL, I have been trying to think of things to do. The tough part is that we have two small children and I want to spend time with them.
GAL can absolutely involve your kids. All GAL means is to get out and do things without your spouse. It's good if some of your GAL activities involve making new friends or getting back in touch with old ones, but it can also be activities you just do by yourself like jogging, painting, taking up guitar, lifting weights, etc. And it can be activities that involve your kids like going to the park, going to the zoo, walking the dog. All it means is don't sit at home moping, get out and do things that make you happy. Make changes in your life. At first you have to force yourself to do it, but the more you do it the happier you get and the more you just want to do it. And that happiness translates to PMA which is a healthy thing not just for you, but for your relationship with your W and your kids.
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She has said to me that it is nothing that I have or have not done. Her feelings have just changed. I guess that can happen, it just seems really strange to me.
This is probably just her way of avoiding a confrontation. She probably really does blame you at least in part, but she doesn't want to talk about it. This is the way my W was too, when I asked her for input and feedback she'd say "I just don't want to dredge up all that stuff again." In her eyes, she had already been telling me about the issues for years, so she was done.
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I was very passive aggressive during that time and I will still go in that direction at times. I am working on that.
Good. That's what good DB'ing is, it's fixing yourself even if you don't know if it'll make a difference to your W. Because regardless of whether you reconcile, you'll emerge a better, smarter, more attractive person.
