You may have nothing to hide out of shame, but you do have a legitimate need for some privacy in order to effectively process and learn from what is going on in your marriage.
This is a private place, your IC office is another. Your emails to ACOA people may be another. So be very careful to delete them or to not use email.
I understand the journey you're on takes a lot of ugly thoughts in the middle. I've said a lot here and a lot in counseling that I would not say to H because he would not understand that I'm in a healing process. I have to perceive it the way I perceive it, even if that's unfair and unflattering to him, in order to get to a better place myself.
So get back there and delete that email when you get a chance, and maybe stick to F2F or phone conversations when you need to discuss your W in a way you wouldn't want her to read. That's fair; you have a right to SOME privacy.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.