Ok, I keep thinking about DB for my own good and if it causes ex-gf to be drawn back to me and we can have a good, post DB style R great.
To detach I'm not asking her what she's up to, where she's staying, no questions or interrogations. I'm trying to show her what it means not to have me in her life: no financial help, no laundry, no help with the kids. I feel this guilt though about not doing the laundry or helping with the kids...well more just the baby...b/c she did get me groceries and is going to pay me back some money.
She kind of put the guilt trip on me last night, saying I was acting like a d*ck and that if I really want to be with her I'd show her with my actions. It seems all she wants though is for me to do chores while she cake eats. There's parts of DB that say to be the kind friend and be helpful, just don't have expectations. MMSL says something similar, that an alpha does stuff for somebody b/c they WANT to. A beta does stuff for a covert contract, b/c they expect something in return.
So my delimma is that I FEEL like a beta if I start doing the laundry and such. At the same time, I feel like if I want to show her with actions, to be her friend, I'll do it b/c her and the kids need it...b/c if I truly care about them I'll help take care of them without expectations...be an alpha and be DBing the right way.
I really am at peace with her leaving. I'm not angry or depressed. I want to be a better person, to take care of myself, and to DB her and see what happens. Thoughts please?
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
