Mr. B. To recap. I did not apologize. For example if she said something I didn't agree with, I told her I do not agree with this or for some reason we are way off or not on the same page. aka, not helping around the house.
Naracist comment. I told her that I thought her counselor was out of line making a statement like this without ever meeting me or talking with me. I also let her know I do not feel that is me.
So when I say validate. What I am saying to my W is typically "I understand you feel that way" "those are your feelings" etc.
In this instance I only agreed that I did not go out with my friends enough, NOT that I do not have friends.
-25 Thanks for jumping back in. I gave my phone # to Tina for you to use. I am available today to about 3pm EST otherwise not available to talk until Monday 9-3 pm EST. If you feel like you could call I could call you back on my dime. I did email the head guy but he was in Mexico on vacation.
25 I am at new job and I am trying to arrange the time off. My plan if everything goes right is I will let my W know I plan on attending Monday night after my ACOA meeting.
Thanks for you support and your passion about EE. I believe it is something I need and I believe ACOA and EE have lots of the same goals.
On a side note had more communication with W this am. Basically asked her if she could let me know if something I say or do bothers her from this point forward if she could let me know. She typically holds things in (because in the past she couldn't talk to me without escalation). I said that this would help both of us. That it isn't healthy for either of us to hold in things that bother us. That I will make mistakes but if I don't know if something is bothering you how can we grow or correct them.
Even though she said "I haven't been able to do this for the past 10 years" it went over positive. I said "I understand in the past we haven't been able to talk but going forward I would like you feel you can talk to me about anything on your mind." I said "I would do the same for you"
Conversation ended. I went to work.
One thing I am paranoid about is I forget to delete some email threads between me and my ACOA sponsor. It was talking about my interactions with my W. Although the emails were not terrible they did discuss my interactions with my W yesterday. Im paranoid because I leave my phone wide open because I have nothing to hide but reading back through these emails I could see her being upset with me discussing our conversations and/or interactions. Some of the emails referenced "control" and not reacting to her button pushing etc..I was exhausted yesterday and forgot to delete them. It is tough because sometimes I need support and phone calls are not always available. Anyways i would hope if my W read them and they bothered her she could approach me. Although I feel she might not because she would have to tell me she was snooping on my phone
