waiting for the other shoe

[asadgirl]

Farmer...I am sorry you are going through this. I know the "waking up shaking" feeling all to well unfortunately. My marriage now is failing since I am dealing with a WAH. He did not cheat that I know of, however, in 1998 I was engaged to what I thought was the perfect man. In my mind he would have never cheated. It ended up that he did. His family knew of this which made it harder...then he went on to marry her a year later. We were together on and off 8 years. We had broken up once during college and reconciled once we "sowed our oats". My point is that I ended up taking YEARS to get over him. I felt I lost my life since we had just bought my dream house together; I couldn't afford it so I was the one who left.
I am hoping you don't spend the amount of time I did in getting over this. You will never fully get over it since the cheating part scars everyone. The lying that it is with a friend scars even more. You will love again. Just get out there and make it happen. Even if you have to join a dating site. That is what I did and even though I compared everyone to my ex-fiance, it still pushed me along and I ended up falling in love again...eventually.
I am not an expert but if you are still depressed then your ADs are not working. You may consider something else or upping you dosage.
My heart and thoughts are with you.