I agree that being authentic with people is a good thing. I don't think that means you have to share your feelings with everyone though.
I know that early on for me it was difficult to really know what some of my feelings were, outside of fear, anger and hurt. It was too easy to be reactionary and to want everyone to understand my truth.
His asking about the doorbell seems silly to you I know. Perhaps he really just doesn't know what to do and how. It might have been his way (albeit an odd one) of letting you know he was there.
I found all kinds of things like that really annoying. In truth, my H could do very little "right". He didn't know how to be around us in this new way and was honestly trying not to make me angrier or hurt me more. I know you probably can't really look at things from that perspective yet. Sometimes, I still can't
Whether you go to see your MIL or not, whether you are judged as pouting or not, doesn't matter. Do what's best for you and take care of yourself.
