I was going to say pizza rolls, but then thought maybe he would actually do some cooking for a change. LOL! What a dinner combination!
I'm w/AJ, continue to raise the bar. Eventually he'll get tired of competing and drop his silly nonsense. Right now, he's trying to prove he can do the exact same things that you are but better. Scanning the food into the iPad? Get real...he's just nuts. He really does need to get a grip and stop telling the kids about you moving out.
As for the ow, my guess is she's not going to want to eat pizza rolls and fish sticks every time the kids are around. He's just off the wall and I bet this is how he lived as a child.
Wishing, you are doing great. Keep finding the humor because it will help you deal w/the situation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.