I've been reading along a bit on your thread - you sound like a strong person dealing with this all. I have a little possible thing to try - for the no sleep problem.
it's been a giant giant problem for me since this mlc fiasco began in my life. sleep deprivation truly prevents me from being/feeling normal.
I've discovered - that i have a tv in bedroom- and i found that if i put in an old vhs tape of a particular, ancient tv show that i like- have seen fifty three million times - and when I force myself to keep my eyes open and watch- i immediately fall asleep. i may wake up more times- but same deal. if i make myself keep watching- it puts me into a coma pretty quickly. i'm assuming because i've seen it so much there's nothing new to be waiting for? i don't know- it works.
maybe you could find something like that- allows your brain to quit thinking and then drifts away on it's own. for me- the thinking and running things thru my mind are a killer. i keep busy in days - but nitetime - impossible to stop it if it wakes me up at 2 or 3 - this show thing seems to work.
good luck. you're doing really great in a bad sitch. it's all sooooo bad - i feel fortified when i read all the threads out there- gals like you - that are carryng on -
today i need to get my pma on and go "do it" . I can always get a giant revelation and end it all - TOMORROW - RITE???
we do hold the ultimate power to be free - should we so desire huh?
xxo good luck - i struggle allll the time with the ow thing. i knew her- i worked with her - we both did. i never ever ever suspected a thing- dopey dopey me. it's will probably (i guess)hurt til i die. my h may never wake up- maybe she's the new love of his life - gag gag - why he doesn't go marry her and die - i don't know. oh well huh? sorry for the venom- it's hard to be gracious some days - isn't it???
