Same Old Wagon Wheel Part 7

[25yearsmlc]

25 can you talk a little bit more about EE?

I hope you'll go to their website...To sum up, "Essential Experience" is a personal growth workshop, which I attended. I've attended several types of workshops, but this one is by far the best.

It is the safest place for growth, and the most supportive environment you will ever find. It's productive and positive.

Seems a little odd or intimidating when you start getting into.

"odd"??? Wasn't the meeting of Adult Children of Alcholics a bit odd too? And as for being intimidating...not sure why you feel that way --- except it means change.

Are you afraid your wife's description of you is true or valid?

Deep down do you fear that you are a selfish arrogant narcissist? The gift of EE is that it Will show you if that is true and if it's not, you'll feel at peace

and if it is true OR if part of it is, EE will show you how to change.

Grads open up house to stay at for out of towners.

Stay at a hotel if you prefer. Most people like saving the money by staying at other's homes, but no one will force you to do that.

Some folks are uncomfortable with it, I know I was. But I needed the experience of asking for support from others, and getting it. That was new for me. Now, I'd never pay for a hotel.

But it's all up to you.

Is this associated with any religious group .

No it is not.

The workshop hours are long which is good but intimidating.

(PON, again with the word "intimidating"??)...

Anyhow, the hours are long FOR a reason, which you'll come to see in time. And, you get your money's worth.


I've paid my deposit but still have extreme inertia about it.

Well, You do have extreme inertia. It comes from fear. But there's nothing anyone else can say or do to make you go or to fix your inertia.

The predictable result of inertia, is that Things tend to waste away, rot, fade, fall, die or end...

We must be the agents of change in our lives. You must be the agent of change in your life. Be the catalyst for a new way of living.

Especially explaining where I'm going to my W, which I know is pathetic but it is how I'm feeling

First, Your wife was fine with you going to ACOA. You did not need her permission of course, b/c those meetings are to help YOUR LIFE Improve...and, not that it matters, but her reaction was positive.

Your description of EE was fine to say ("workshop for communication, clarity, action plan for making transitions", etc)

but a part of me wants you to OWN THIS and not care what she thinks. This is your life - and you only get one. This is not a dress rehearsal...you are taking charge of your life. I think that's attractive.

BTW, There are a ton of ACOAs at EE. FWIW, I cannot imagine her having a negative reaction -but then, I don't know what it is you are hoping for from her??

This workshop is a life changer. If you want to change your life, you'll go.

If you prefer staying stuck, then don't go.

Yet It is so Ironic....

Your wife says "you can't change"! You insist you can.

So, what does backing out of EE show her about that?

I mean, she's trying to figure out if she can stay with you as you are now, which is hard for her. But she says you won't change. So, Is she right to believe you will not change?

Last but not least,

your best chance of saving your marriage, if not the only chance -

is going to something intensive, life changing, & supportive, like EE...

(it really is the most supportive, safe place you will ever go.)

Making the deep types of changes needed in one long weekend, requires intense support and guidance, which EE gives...

***(BTW - Follow up support groups meet later on. The support groups and follow up are all free, and they help you stay on track)***

Hey, I'm not guaranteeing a reconciliation with her,

but I don't see you shifting your paradigm nearly enough or fast enough on your own, for her to stay.

Your inertia will remain/regain, and without any support to keep you from sliding back into your old self...I fear you'll lose her for good.

I suggested EE b/c I think so highly of it. I asked you to "trust the process" b/c it IS a process. (It's hardest at the beginning, just like overcoming inertia)

HOWEVER - PON, I was ripe for changing my life. I felt stuck by some choices I had made. I was ready to own my choices, to exercise new choice and change things at work, or in my relationships, and how I saw myself and how I felt about who I was, etc.

You may prefer being where you are b/c you are so used to it, it's familiar. (A very typical ACOA response.)

You can judge or negate EE all you want & you can look for negatives in it,

& All I can do is say "PON, here's a gift life is offering you. It's called EE. I put a lot into it and I got a lot out of, it.

EE helped me live a much happier, full life, with inner peace for the first time in my life.

It also helped my h do the same. He's an MD who is not into these types of things. Soooo,

Why did my h go to EE, (since he's not the type?(

He said he went, "B/C of the changes" he saw in me. The value of EE lies in the changes people see in you, when you return...

**Imagine what would happen in your sitch - if you returned from Philly a truly changed man,

and your wife liked what she saw?

------

(Now...

Imagine you return from Philly, liking what YOU saw in you...)

In short,

Essential Experience is a life changing experience.

If you want to change your life, you'll go. If you want to stay stuck, you won't.