For some reason I feel like I'm defending myself to you.....I know I haven't followed the book verbatum but who has? I found this site back at what I thought was my lowest pt around march of last year. It gave me hope and another perspective. I'm not a patient man but I dug deep and found the strength to continue the fight. I worked on myself and my freindship with her and it was going well(I thought). Now after 6-8 months of improving on my issues and trying to be the best or better person that I can be its time for her to sink or swim. The cake eating has been physically/mentally exhausting! My health has declined lately. I decided it was time for the ultimation. Right or wrong I did it. And I think I'm ok with it. Wish she chose me but what can I do. I dont want to be a door mat and allow an affair under my nose any more. I know on this forum there are many people who have done this for many years, and if they are ok with that more power to them. Who am I to pass judgement? If any freind of mine had a wife that did this I would have been WTF? You deserve better dump her! LOL I think I did tell a freind that. Oh how its different if its you in the sitch!!
I am choosing to go along and work out the paperwork for the divorce so if/when it goes bad it won't be a ugly legal battle. With the housing market slump we will be happy to each walk with a little spending $$ in our pocket and I will be able to retain my business. If someone could guarantee me a good outcome I'd let everything go in a heartbeat. I'd proudly work at McD's if it meant my family would be together! But I'm realistic at this pt and need to protect myself and future.
Also with the way my spouse is wrapped up with th OM right now. i think she needs to find out on her own that the chances of it working with him are slim. 2 cheaters together. Hmmmmmm.
In the mean time I need to detached, regain my health, sanity ,focus on being a better father, and GAL.
