Have you considered that he was actually sexually assaulted and outside the expertise of this forum. And YES, it can happen to men. Not a lot, but it does happen. I mean if this happened to a woman by a man, there is no question most here would be looking to call the authorities. Not to mention the social stigma attached with this type of assault. Judging from what he said, she was the aggressor.
I don't think Shirley Glass would be appropriate in that situation because it's not an affair or one night stand. It's a criminal assault.
If I would were I would try to get to the bottom of this because if it was a sexual assault, he's going to need a whole lot of compassion as well as professional advice. I'm sure you pulling away would be even more hurtful.
Once you established what happened - he was either a willing participant and was dishonest to you or was a victim then you can know how to proceed. I wish you luck.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
