Was feeling better today, but turned to agitation by the time I got home from work. Not sure why. But H & I overlapped time by maybe 20 minutes (a record as of late).
He said he was leaving to go to the gym. I had an old-me reaction and said, "Again? Didn't you go last night?"
The new me was suppose to say, "Have a good work out!"
He said, "You go to the gym every chance you get." and instead of just shutting my mouth or agreeing I continued by arguing a bit w him.
Anyway he left the house & didn't bother even trying to give me our regular (but emotionless) hug. I was already busy helping son w hwk so didn't even respond to his general, "bye!" to everyone. (But neither did any of my kids.)
Of course I let that bother me & my interactions w my kids the rest of the evening (why can't I just let it roll off my back like it's no big deal???).
Usually at bedtime kids call H to do prayers (on speaker w me right beside them...their idea), but S9 seemed to realize my agitation & decided to call H a little before bedtime so we could do prayers "just the two of us!" What a sweet, sweet boy!
I've got to get myself together! I'm a roller coaster ride all by myself and there's nothing really happening new between H & I right now (except the ever-present OW he emails at his expensive aptmt each night, watching his brand new tv on his brand new couch)! Sorry, I'm just in a rut & can't seem to find my "happy place" at all.
Am going out w an old GF on Friday evening. She & I worked together many years ago & she went thru a difficult D, but is now re-married & very happy. Maybe she'll have some perspective for me! (Does this count as a GAL if we end up talking mostly about my sitch?)
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
