Spartan, True, this board, rather the people on here are simply amazing.
Tori, Pop in when you can, not just for us, but to share how your trip is going when you can. If not, we will all play catch up later.
So the phone consult with Jody couldn't have had better timing. W sent me a nice, more than detailed text this morning regarding the kids. The more days we have been separated, the more detailed the text(s). Also, W sent me a nice sized email (re: not filing yet, not messing with money, not wanting to add stress to the kids, asking if she can get me / kids stuff from the g store, complaining about our dog, and then time with the kid type stuff). Jody and I went through and drafted a wonderful FRIENDLY response. Jody wasn't too shocked about the turn of events. She did agree with me staying away from alcohol until I get a better handle on me and allowing resentments to build up. To forgo any sense of entitlement. To erase obligations. Altruistic giving so to speak. Based on the email, Jody seems to think that W is not looking for a D at this time. Maybe a little bit of hope. I do though need to figure out if that's what I want. I may actually have some time after all.
The overall theme we conversed about was how in my sich, much of my caretaking tendencies took away the equity in our R. So based on some of the details of the email, focus on creating more equity. Do this in the form of simply treating W as a friend, a true friend. Doing a mindshift that the R is much bigger than the M. Letting go of the false hope that I once had / keeping it away, and simply trying to be a good friend to W. IMO, it is a win win situation. I win if we D, because we have a friendship (the kids win too). If we don't D, then we once again have the building blocks for a good M based on a good R (friendship). All of this occurring while I Do focus on me becoming the ME I want.
As a worker, I'm pretty good. I was invited out to dinner but some customers at the end of the day. I thanked them, but declined b/c it would have been "weird" to say the least.
As a Dad, I'm pretty good there too.
As a Me...that's the part I'm working on. Trying to be more confident, assertive (in a good way), and yet at the same time, carefree.
As an H??? Well, that's TBD. I've been a good one at loving W my way, just need to learn how to love her, or someone else their way. To do so in equal partnership in most aspects. Easier said than done.
Time to text D12 sweet dreams (and have her pass it along to S7), and then exercise. Yes, I brought some of my weights to my parents. 8)
