Just saying I'm busy would be the easiest way out. However, it is exactly this kind of avoidance and glossing over that I am sick and tired of doing. I might as well just go if this is all going to be just another chance to not talk about how I really feel.
I would be fine going. I enjoy being with MIL, I'm fine hanging around with H, and it would be just like normal. What bugs me is that it is not normal. H left me and we need to start acting like it. I am conflicted in my own head here, nothing is clear or black and white.
By the way, H has this annoying habit of coming over as expected but ringing the doorbell 20 time while also unlocking the door. The only ones impressed by this are the dogs, who go nuts. The rest of us can hear the 8 beeps it takes to get the door open and we know he's coming and no one's running to the door because we are not 4 years old. So the 20 doorbell rings and H jumping in like ta-da!!!! I'm here!!!! to the cacophony of the dogs going berserk is really annoying to me.
So last time he came in like that I asked him why he was doing it, and got a nonresponse. I said it is annoying. More mumbly words. So, tonight he texted me that he's coming over to pick up mail and I texted him "will you use doorbell etiquette when you come over?" We will see.
I think he would like to be the much loved long-awaited hero arriving but no one is buying that but the dogs.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
