Snodderly and KML, thank you for your responses and kind concern.
My parent has been moved to hospice which has brought about a strange sort of peace these last couple of days. But has not left me much time to post. I am taking care of myself as best I can but I would be lying if I said I was doing great.
Originally Posted By: snodderly
Sounds to me like it looks to you to be his lifeline when things aren't going as well as expected. I don't think he's as happy as he makes himself out to be. If he were, he wouldn't be contacting you like he has been.
I think you are right. Early last week I had made up my mind to call him to pass on the news of the move to hospice. I felt it would be wrong to withold that information as our families are close. I did not need to call, he called me.
He said that it felt strange not to have followed our NYE traditions. I said it actually turned out for the best as I was needed at home and besides, I could not have visited as he had a girlfriend. His answer? I suppose so. I said: You suppose so? Then he said that he did not know "how much of a girlfriend he had" since he was working so constantly and that he was backing off.
While the above does not really change anything with me, and I do not know how much of it is true, even if there is a grain of truth, it simply means that this big romance that I was envisioning is not the reality of what is going on.
He told me he missed me and said ILY.
Three days later, he called again. My DB mind said don't answer but I ignored it this time. We talked for a bit, nothing truly personal.
Originally Posted By: kml
This is making him face the reality of what he's doing, and taking some of the fun out of his new relationship (wonder how she likes it when he's fretting about why you haven't called him back?)
KML, I have wondered the same thing even though I know that I am not supposed to give her headspace. I can only figure that either she does not know or chooses to ignore it. She is recently divorced with two young ones, so maybe she is using him as well. Who knows?
So, back to what works which is pulling back a bit more. Whether or not his potentially waning relationship (right on time, it has been about 7 months "officially") will bring him back to me is anyone's guess.
