He couldn't deny it. They left and he confessed though several hours of talking that they were flirting, then sexting and finally, pics had been exchanged. Nothing more.
This "nothing more" attitude is pretty common among WAS's, as if having an emotional affair is OK as long as it doesn't become physical. But as you've learned, emotional affairs are just as devastating to a marriage as physical affairs.
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In August, we started arguing a lot more.
Read DR, it'll give you some advice on how to work through issues without letting it turn into a big argument.
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During our time away, he called me and asked that we come home because he missed us and he didn't need anymore time. I told him I could extend my time if he felt like he needed it. He said no, he was sure and that he was ready to work on us. I came home, but could see that nothing had changed. That was last Sunday. Since then, he has jumped in and out of reconciliation everyday. He hasn't stopped messaging or talking to OW.
You cannot get the M back on track as long as he's in contact with OW. You need to set a boundary that if he's serious about R, that needs to stop. It also sounds like maybe you did not have a good MC because it sounds like your sitch did not improve despite months of C. You might consider trying to find a more appropriate solutions-based MC and/ or consult with a DB coach.
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I really want to keep our marriage intact and I don't know how or where to start.
Start by reading DR. It will give you the roadmap. Also go to the top of this forum and read Sandi's stickied thread on the 180 DB tips. Print them out, read them several times a day and LIVE them.
