In reading your sitch (which you describe very well, btw -- you're a very good writer!) it struck me that you have now seen both what WORKS with your wife, and what DOESN'T.
Go back and try to read your post with a dispassionate, detached eye if you can and see if you see it also. I do think the blueprint is there for you to follow, IF you want to. Personally, I question whether this is a woman of character with whom I would want to stay, and considering you have no children together . . . but that's your decision.
