I also am having an issure already with the birth. Some have already advised to re think letting him be there for the birth. But, this will put me in complete anxiety during birth and I dont think I need to be in that state of mind. I will be giving birth and thinking about him with OW while is is standing there and I cannot put myself in that position. So, for the sake of myself (yes...Im being selfish for once) I dont want him there at all. I also know that my whole family will be there and they will not be so nice to him and that will give me anxiety too. Is the the wrong choice?? He has NOT been a single part of this pregnancy except for being the sperm donor..why should be he there for the glory?? Just my opinion..I'm open to other opinions...He thinks this is me being mean because I'm not getting my way on him coming home...but I have said this from the beginning..
Unfortunately this is not a novel happening at the time of birth. Pregnancy increases stress on everyone and in faltering marriages it's magnified. Abuse increases during pregnancy, so your H's abuse at this time is not unusual.
Write up a plan of who you want with you and share it with your Dr and the nurses caring for you at the hospital. If you change your mind at the last minute, the plan can change, nothing is written in stone but it's good to have a plan you can share so those in charge of your care can implement it.
Also, don't be alone with him if he comes to the hospital, always make sure there there is another person with you. Have you chosen a family member or good friend to be your go to person while in the hospital? It's helpful to have one person who knows exactly what you want and can relay your wishes and be your "protector."
Discuss with your family/friends what conversations you will allow during your labor and birth.
If H makes a scene at the hospital, staff are not a bit shy about calling security and having them standby if needed. Just their presence can make people rethink their possible actions.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
