Does this sound like a MLC or am I just in a SSM?

[mum2three]

Thanks AnotherStander for your wise words. I am so unsure of what is really going on here, if anything ...let me explain. I am sure this is a low sex relationship, but that might be all that is going on.

Sex: We never found great contraception and my H was desperate not to have another child. He works very hard, long hours, little sleep, BP medication and said if he had to give up sex or holidays for ever he would give up sex and he would rather spend the time with the family and learning the guitar than having an affair and I believe him completely. When I initiate sex he responds about 50% of the time and this has been the pattern for years. I really don't think he is indulging in porn or a PA. I think he may just be a man with a lower sex drive made lower by habit.. I have now sorted out contraception and since all this have become much more interested in intimacy. But if I am detaching a little, and I have stopped initiating physical contact should I initiate sex? I have a naive idea that if we got this sorted out the rest would follow. I really never think he would leave me and the family. (famous last words!)

He has always claimed that sex never entered his head with this relationship with his co-worker-she was just lively and friendly and I think he liked having a group of young friends. I don't understand this, everyone tells me it is all about sex, but I believe HIM. I am worried that by stopping him seeing and texting his young co-worker(s) I have damaged OUR relationship.

So current plan is to continue being the wife than no man would leave; But GAL, stop being physically demonstrative/clingy unless he initiates; don't question his choice of friends (although I think he has now stopped seeing or texting anyone younger than 40!). I will initiate sex in a friendly way, but be prepared to take 'No" for an answer.