Summary of sich (2012)- W caught sending flirting texts on 6/20 (beginning of EA) BD 7/04 8/01 - 11/ 25ish EA/PA exists 11/25ish "60%" comitted to R 12/31/12 I blow up - 01/01/13 W says "Done again"
So here I am, playing "D" for ME. I'm not saying D as in Divorce. I'm here saying D for multiple positive reasons. D for the purest sense of DBing ---> To better myself for me. I need to continue to Detach. I need to continue to Discover and Develop who I want to be. To continue to be the great Dad that I can be. Also, I need to play Defense in preparation for an actual D, to protect myself and kids, rather than cling to false hope.
To answer the last question from Tori -
Quote:
What are your goals for the session w Jody?
My 2nd session with my coach is tomorrow, so any / all of the above that I can get done will be awesome. Also, to see her response about going from "flirty" to what the sich has become will be interesting.
Update since my last real entry. Sunday night I ended up staying at my home. W had called and asked if I wanted to stay that night and then leave in the morning after dropping off S7 to school. I had packed and was ready to go. I knew she needed my help b/c of her work. I told her I was intending on leaving, but asked D12 and S7 what they wanted. They wanted me to stay, so I did. Also, W and I sat the kids down at the table to tell them about the space thing. I actually did all of the talking, and I was composed. I was emotionally "strong." W paid me a compliment as she was surprised at how well I delivered the bad news.
Past 2 days I've been at my parents home. I've been more at ease, despite the impending D. I've been trying to line up what all I need to do (legally, financially, etc.). I've kept many of the "dirty" details away from my parents, as I don't want to overexpose them to the pain / sadness. You know the everything.
I've sent a few texts to D12 (how was your day / sweet dreams / have a great day). I called and talked with them all tonight. Not so much S2, b/c he's 2. The funny thing is, I spoke with W at the end of the call to let her know I was going to take care of an online bill payment and that I may have to get a sitter for Friday due to me being subpoenaed to court to testify as a witness. W only heard that I was going to court, and evidently panicked a bit. Once I reiterated the reason I was going, I did hear a sigh of relief. That creates confusion for me. Not hope, just a little confusion..
Overall my mood has been fair to good considering the sich is what it is. Oh yeah, I went out to eat with my parents (a mini 180 for me). While there I met one of their good friends, an older gentleman who recently lost his wife to cancer. I noticed he was still wearing his wedding ring. It was a little sad, simply because of how sweet that is (at least to me).
The funny thing is, I spoke with W at the end of the call to let her know I was going to take care of an online bill payment and that I may have to get a sitter for Friday due to me being subpoenaed to court to testify as a witness. W only heard that I was going to court, and evidently panicked a bit. Once I reiterated the reason I was going, I did hear a sigh of relief. That creates confusion for me. Not hope, just a little confusion..
