Almost Over...

[Dewayne]

I know. I'm sorry. I'm working on not being that way so much.

Update: The other night she came by. We talked. She gave me more info. Made me sick and I told her I hated her and to GTFO of my house. She left. I was VERY HURT! I wanted to end my life. *edited out* .. I looked up and I had pulled over at a church. I didn't even remember driving there tbh. I prayed. Felt better, no answers but felt relief. I fell asleep. Woke up freezing 2 hours later. Drove home.

Sent stbxw a FB msg; Told her not to worry about me fighting, I wanted the divorce now too. Later she txted; asked me if I still wanted to go to the movie. I told her "If you WANT to and you need to ask. I won't question motives. I don't care. I don't know you anymore" (basically)

This morning, she called; 12 min's. 5 min mark before she got to the point of calling.

Her: "were you still wanting to go to the movies?"

Me: "I dont' know, do you?"

Her: "Well I'm sick and I was going to lay down and didn' tthink I'd get up, I got the flu I think and just not feeling good"

Me: "stay home and get to feeling better then. Not going to the movies doesn't bother me"

Her: "Maybe tomorrow after the WIC appt. we can go before I go to work. I really want to spend some time with you w/o the drama, I think I'd like that. I do want to go to the movies with you"

Me: "well I got to go, why don't you get some sleep and I hope you get to feeling better"

Tonight she called, said JoJo wanted to talk. Gave her the phone so I talked to her. Then Jo gave momma the phone. Talked to he for 8 minutes.

Her: "So did you say yes or no to her coming over?"

Me: "I told her it was up to you. I can't come and get her. No fuel"

Her: "Well, why don't I bring her over so you can see her a while"
Me: "Is ok, I'd love to see her, but you don't have to waste all your fuel for a few hours"

Her: "Well, why don't I bring her over and come and get her in the morning? when I go to the appointment?"

Me: "That'd be great but I have plans. She gets off at 11 or 11:30 and I told her if she wanted to hang we could"

Her: "Ohh, ok. Well, do you want me to come and get you, and we all go to the WIC appt together then? And spend the day together?"

Me: "If you want"

Her: *sigh* Well if...

Me: "NO! I'm not being mean, I apologize if it came off that way, I don't want to pressure you. If YOU WANT that, then that's fine. I don't have any plans. But I do need to get off here, I have to reply to a text and have things to do"

Her: "OK, well I guess we'll see you tomorrow then"

I think I handled that ok. It REALLY helps not feeling the nervousness, and the "hope". I'm not flustered by talking to her. I did get a small gut feeling that she was trying to pwn the kiddo off on me so she can be alone with someone, that kinda rubbed me the wrong way but I decided I shouldn't care. She didn't call back, so she probably assumed we'll see meet tomorrow.

It feels SOO WEIRD being like this. It's amazing how freaking quick that was. Maybe I needed to hear what she said, I don't know. Opinions?

Thanks guys. I appreciate you guys being patient with me.