Okay, just finished your threads. I'll confess to only reading your posts, not the responses, so it's not like I'm a speed-reader. I can see where you ended posting, and I think I understand. I won't try to put it to words, just that I feel like I've BTDT and can completely relate.
But that was some time ago. There's obviously a lot missing in-between. I hate to think you've been riding the same roller-coaster this whole time. If so, it's no wonder why you sound so confused. Throw on top of that the fact that your H is an alcoholic, I must say I can't even imagine. You are one strong cookie! So don't ever cut yourself short in that department.
I wish we could meet for appetizers and a margarita, but I think the commute between MO and TN might be a bit far.
