FM, sorry it's been rough going. I can identify w your sitch as I am the W who had the A. Your posting helps me get insight into my H's head. But what I want to hear you acknowledge is your part in all of this. Acknowledge, accept and move on. You say you have better understanding of the A but you still feel like a victim. Is that because she changed her mind?

Me54, H53
M 23, T 25
S20, S18
BD: April 2024
Moved out: August 2024

Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.

"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page