I shouldn't hav mentioned it, no extra worries. U know he prob had some elaborate plan that he will never act out. More than likely, even he doesn't hav a clear idea of what to do with it. Just something to get under ur skin. My H brings new meaning to the word "lazy"."
You should bring in a bag of tech stuff and leave it on the counter. A tape recorder, label maker, He!! Even a blow dryer would scare him at this point! Totally inappropriate but it'd b so easy to fu-cc with him. The guy sounds like he is terrified and working off of pure adrenalin. U may not believe it, but u r the stronger person, wayyyyyy stronger. Don't let his antics get to u. Omg! A shovel!! Buy a new shovel and leave it in the kitchen!!!! Just be vague--- "oh, that, yeah, I hav some stuff to dig!!! If only the jids weren't in the house, we could hav so much fun with this sad, sick man.
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
HA! You are funny Heather. Too funny. He'd be ticked if I bought a shovel because we have a perfectly good shovel at the house. I should start doing things just to mess with his head. Not mean things, just different. Like look how I made pancakes and sausage yesterday and I thought his head would explode he was so baffled!!! I am interested to know how he will handle breakfast tomorrow. French toast? Eggs benedict? LOL. Of course, he'll leave the mess for me.
And I know H well enough to know that when he is threatened he attacks. He is sneaky and conniving and underhanded. Oh, but yes he still cares about me very much. So much that he wants to continue to control my life even after we are divorced. I don't think so, Scooter.
You are right. He is scared. And he's like a caged animal. I am worried that if now we have a guardian ad litem appointed he may try to get full custody. I am second guessing myself now. And I need to stop!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Stop. I was going there last night. Deal with today. Breathe.
Last night, I tried to get honest about what was underneath all of the fear about the OW and our marriage not working out. I stopped obsessing when I realized how scared I've been and how some old hurts are reappearing and messing me with me now.
Stay in the NOW. Your kids are with you, you are living in the house, today, none of those bad things have happened.
Love, Heather
P.S. I still think a new shovel would be fun. Or maybe a pick axe :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Ohhhh...a light bulb just went off. He claimed in court that I was sneaking into his room and going through his things. I bet THAT is what the camcorder is for to catch me in the act. I gave up the snooping thing long ago. I have all the evidence I need. Besides I don't need to snoop. H leaves stuff out in the open half the time.
as well. It wouldn't surprise me if he leaves something out as "bait" as well to try and catch you at something sneaky and confirm his suspicions about your nefarious activities. And cape. And shiny socks.
I doubt the rest of the ideas. I think he is very consumed by the outcome of the recent events and not getting his way. The sex tapes and such? I'm guessing he is so consumed by his anger and the pressure of living with a monster like you (sic) that he's consumed about getting supporting "evidence".
That was my first thought. I've heard of others that have done that too. Too much TV I think.
I suggest just being you, not snooping (what would be the point) and being calm, cool, poised, and gracious. And pretty.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
My fear stems from not having my kids. They are my life. I live, breathe and sleep for my kids. That may not be healthy, but I have wanted kids my entire life and I waited until I thought I was settled and stable enough to take care of them. I married someone I thought was settled and stable. It makes me angry that he is backing out of our marital deal and our kids have to pay the price. I never wanted this for them. It's not fair to them. And for him to say he deserves them 50% of the time enrages me. It has nothing to do with me being the "mother" and him being the "father". It all has to do with what is coming from the heart. And I guess to me if I can get them more than 50% of the time then it is worth the time and aggravation. I need to keep my eyes on the prize.
I need to take things one day at a time. One moment at a time. Lord knows what H will do, good or bad. After all he did give me "permission" to stay with my mother one more day. LOL!
A pick axe? Oh Lord, he would be climbing the walls if I brought that home. I brought home a marshmallow shooter a few weeks ago and he was threatened by that!!! You would think a teenager would like that sort of thing.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Ohhhh...a light bulb just went off. He claimed in court that I was sneaking into his room and going through his things. I bet THAT is what the camcorder is for to catch me in the act. I gave up the snooping thing long ago. I have all the evidence I need. Besides I don't need to snoop. H leaves stuff out in the open half the time.
as well. It wouldn't surprise me if he leaves something out as "bait" as well to try and catch you at something sneaky and confirm his suspicions about your nefarious activities. And cape. And shiny socks.
I doubt the rest of the ideas. I think he is very consumed by the outcome of the recent events and not getting his way. The sex tapes and such? I'm guessing he is so consumed by his anger and the pressure of living with a monster like you (sic) that he's consumed about getting supporting "evidence".
That was my first thought. I've heard of others that have done that too. Too much TV I think.
I suggest just being you, not snooping (what would be the point) and being calm, cool, poised, and gracious. And pretty.
AJ
LOL! AJM you are so wise. : )
Yes, I am sure the camcorder is to catch me sneaking in his room. He also demanded I give him the key to "his" car and he bought the file cabinet with the lock on it. So he is worried that I will find something. But I already know what is going on. He wonders how I know so much about what is going on, but it isn't from snooping. It's from him leaving out information where I have access to it. I remember whenever he would buy me a gift I would always find out what it was before he gave it to me. I never snooped. He would leave the receipt in the passenger seat of the car. He would have the gift delivered to the house while I was home. He would drop hints that were less than subtle and wonder how I caught on. Let's just say he's 5 beers short of a 6-pack.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
wishing, You are so right about one thing, they have ways of telling on themselves and snooping by us isn't always necessary.
Hang in there and do not let him see you sweat!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm hanging on by a thread. H is trying to create doubt within me. I need to stop doubting and start trusting my instincts.
H told S that tomorrow he was taking them sledding. Ahem, S has a counseling session tomorrow night. That's not gonna work. H also told D he would take her to the store tonight since her new Teddy bear has a tear in it. Ahem, S has a soccer game tonight. I am starting to think he doesn't realize the words that he is saying. I don't believe he is processing things.
Not my problem but if that's the case I wonder how that's going to affect the kids?
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
