House for sale. So Sad. Family Breaking Up (pt 2)

[FloydMan]

Some days are just blah. I am feeling down today and not strong at all. GAL is great suggestion and I have been doing that some in last couple of months. You know what I realize though? My W has not done any GAL. Coffee with the girls from time to time, nails, hair and spa but she has always done that stuff for years. There is nothing new for her at all. I see sadness in her eyes among the severe anger. I did come across some notes of hers a month ago noting she is sad and lost some friends and family in this process. She always says she loved my family more than her own and most of our good friends are mine from all my life. Even our newer friends over the past couple of years are through my connections, kids and sports that I am also close with. Other than her work pals she has nobody. Other than I suspect OM, but not like she is out too late or overnights.
We had a very handsome family that I know was her pride….she loved to show it off and brag about it. I look at these pictures around the house and I see a proud matriarch centring her family. She is beautiful quite honestly, my kids are beautiful, the dog is handsome even. She still says I am handsome and will be a catch for someone. Not to sound egotistical but I am comfortable with my looks and shape and do get interest from nice ladies.....but I am not interested in them really. Others were literally envious of us. It all looked so perfect. She kept it perfect looking on the outside. Always wanting family portraits and getting lots of copies to give family and friends. Fussing over her looks (and she really doesn’t have to), the kids looks clothes etc. Would fuss over me, fixing my tie if not perfect....I was uncomfortable with a lot of it really...mother hen like…. Not to gross you out but like fixing my hair if out of place, popping zits etc. She would grab tweezers and say "come here" and pull an eyebrow hair or nose hair or ear hair. Not that there was ever a crop of it. I had to be perfect…nothing out of place. She is obsessed about her looks, the kid’s looks and used to be of mine. Even a couple months ago she told me to wear other shoes than the ones I had on. I reminded her that she left me and cannot do that anymore. All perfect to the outside but inside is turmoil in her. Now that things are out in the open with family and friends she puts on this front of needing to be perfect single mom and lies about things to family and friends about how she is handling things. That is sad. I catch her looking at me sometimes out of the corner of her eye and pretend not to be looking at me.