when do I start piecing ?

[eyesopen]

I would suggest you stick with DB. The whole concept of it is designed to get you to the point of moving on wether with your w or not. We have to be ready for a new r no matter who it is with. Are you ready?

I understand it is difficult to balance the hope of reconciling and trying to get to the point of being ready to move on. Hopefully this will be the most difficult thing we ever go through, but all of us will get through it.

If you read and follow most of the stories of people that R, it would seem that they lived DB. It is that which got them to the point where they were happy no matter what happened. Our wives will no when we are there, and we won't have to tell them.

I also don't think it is helping you if you are expecting to continue with your w. You can always have hope, and you can believe it will happen, but be careful of expectations.