Sexless marriage. H Left. Now retrouvaille in 3wks

[JustStunned]

Hello AM,

I responded to your post on Surviving and came looking on Newcomers. One of the pieces of advice I received early on was to stay with one thread as it helps people find you and keep up.

So what do I do? Continue to DB while he's here? It seems so much easier when he didn't live here.

If your goal is to save yourself or your marriage continue to DB.

Of course it was easier. It was easier to stay detached to remain calm. To work on little steps and then retreat to separate corners to absorb and reflect.

Take a deep breath and slow down a bit. I think you’re trying to solve too many things at once. An aspect of baby steps is to slow down enough to find the positive signs and reduce expectations. To many of us rush to get to the final solution we miss steps along the way and ultimately damage the progress we’ve made.

This is not the end in disaster moment it may appear to be. This is a setback. In my opinion this was brought on by guilt so maybe that is an avenue to work on. Calmly, Compassionately.

What are the chances of reconciliation with WAS?

Some do. I cannot give you odds. I suspect they are low. Does that mean you shouldn’t try? I was compelled to try for my own peace of mind.

5 LLs is a very good start

Read up on DR, start your 180s and GALing. Find a pro marriage MC.

Good advice. 5LLs is a good read and helpful in my continued relationships.
Yes, 180s what are yours? Can you think of more?
Yes, GAL more important now than before he moved back in. Happy, excited, and active is a more interesting you.

Have you reviewed the 37 rules? How do they apply to what you’re doing? To paraphrase Sandi “Do what works”