A New Phase?

[Nblost]

Quick update. I discovered some texts last night on my youngest daughter's phone (she shares an account with H). The texts were between H and OW. I'm really so far past the snooping phase that I just looked at them out of curiousity about their relationship. I won't confront him with any of this.

The texts were just from a 5 day period over Thanksgiving. The two of them had gotten into a fight after OW got drunk. She said some unforgiveable things to him...yet in the end, he forgave her. (She can't remember what she said and she didn't want him to tell her...so I don't know what it was). She texted suicidal thoughts to him in the aftermath and she just sounded like a ridiculously selfish woman.

I'm posting this just because in the height of the affair crap...it's so easy to believe the OP is better than you. From everything I have read, they usually are NOT...and I now really believe this about OW.

I'm glad I know she's selfish and pretty psycho...my kids went to Mexico with them for a week over Christmas...but I will be careful about letting my kids spend time with her. (Luckily, she lives 2,000 miles away).

Sadly, I can see a scenario where H wants back into the marriage (he has never actually wanted a divorce). I can't see a scenario where he is happy with her long-term. But, after 18 months of this? I really think it's too late. I guess it's possible that someday he could prove himself to me again...but I now know I deserve a lot better.

I hope everyone had a good holidays! I let H celebrate part of Christmas Eve and Christmas with us (me, my kids and my parents). Then he took the kids with him to visit OW and go to Mexico. I took a couple day trip with the guy I've been dating and then saw a number of friends. The day before H got back...I was out on a run by myself and truly felt the happiest I have felt in a very very long time. I really feel like I'm finding myself again.

There is hope...but this is a long road...