You are doing GREAT! This is incredibly stressful and he is provoking u at every turn. EASY DOES IT. This will all b a terrible, but empowering memory some day. Saying all this to myself as much as to you. :-)
We can do this! I'm trying to remember, I can let go and let God handle all this. I can't do this alone.
U r awesome!!
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Just out of curiosity, have you seen it since he bought it?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Like I have said before, I am my own worst enemy. I worry and worry. My mom is the same way. We worry if we don't have anything to worry about.
So the next five days will be interesting. He will be around because it's his time with the kids. I plan on doing some things on my own this weekend. I need to watch the money too. So maybe I will go to the library and I have some gift cards I can use. I don't want to be gone too much because I am afraid he will use that against me.
I guess my fear is if custody is going to be determined by a GAL and a judge I am scared of doing the wrong thing and him painting this picture of me as an unfit mother. For instance, I have a friend who is having a birthday get together this Friday. If I go, will he turn it around that I went to the bar instead of being home with my kids? That's what I am worried about. Needlessly worrying, probably. But I just need someone to tell me it's gonna be okay. : (
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Not sure what the camcorder is for. I saw it for the first time last night. It is new. He let the kids play with it last night and then all of a sudden got really funny about them "playing" with it. I asked him if he got a new phone and he said no, it's just a mini camcorder. I am "assuming" he bought it for his work, but IDK. When you guys asked I immediately got suspicious and thought he was planning on taping me or something. But then again, he has video on his cell phone so why would he bother spending money on a camcorder? He is always doing weird, sneaky things. For all I know he could have bought it for our local daycare since he is on the board for that.
I feel like I have to be on my toes at all times. This is exhausting!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
wishing, My radar has gone up. I could be wrong, but he may have bought it just to have it around, but it could also be that he wants to get under your skin w/it. You know it's there, therefore, you may become a bit anxious w/it being there, just knowing he could very well be recording your every move, as well as the children's. I hope he doesn't plan on coaching the children to say and do things that will put you in a negative light. Another thing that crossed my mind, maybe he's going to video your home on the "off" days when you've not straightened up?
He's one of the sneakiest men I know and I honestly don't trust him and I sure as h@ll wouldn't put anything by him at this point in time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
So should I worry? What should I do? My guard is up. I don't know what he is capable of, but I am sure he is up to no good. I can't be perfect all the time.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
he has video on his cell phone so why would he bother spending money on a camcorder?
Ummmm....because he wants to leave the camcorder set up at home to record you secretly when he's not there? Or because he's making sex tapes with the OW?
Or maybe he's just a typical techy guy who wants to make some good quality home videos of the kids. Who knows?
At this point, I wouldn't worry one bit about it. You have nothing to hide or worry about. You are a good mother. Him bringing it in the home has already done it's job...it's got you worrying over it...step back, remain calm and don't let him see you sweat.
Be yourself and don't even try to be perfect.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Ohhhh...a light bulb just went off. He claimed in court that I was sneaking into his room and going through his things. I bet THAT is what the camcorder is for to catch me in the act. I gave up the snooping thing long ago. I have all the evidence I need. Besides I don't need to snoop. H leaves stuff out in the open half the time.
And @ KML the sex tape thing?? EWWWWWW!!!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
