They do like her. They do not ask to see her: at ages 12 and 14 they would think of a million things before they would think of scheduling a date with their grandma. I'm not sure if that's their fault or just normal. I can't remember ever once asking to see either of my grandmas but I loved them both and liked seeing them.
She is capable and NEVER EVER asks to see them or contacts them. She could contact H but she is aware that they don't live with him and he does not take them for any regular amount of time, so if she wants to see them it would be logical to contact me.
Literally in 14 years she has not done that. She likes to come if there is a sporting event. Her other two grandkids (daughter's kids) were both star athletes so usually she was busy with them every single time we wanted to see her. When our oldest turned 6 and started wrestling we found out in an offhand conversation that she had begun going by herself to local high school wrestling tournaments because she missed seeing the sport from when H was in it. So we started inviting her to S14's sporting events and if she was not already busy with her other grandkids' baseball, football, soccer, field hockey, basketball or other event...then she would show up. She has two other grandsons who live near us (grown now) and did not see them because they did not play a sport. My S12 also does not play a sport and she shows no interest in coming unless it's for a game that S14 is in.
Unless we invite her to lunch or something. It does not come from her, not ever.
Yes bug, I have been doing things I don't want to do for a long time. I don't know if I should explain to H, or to MIL, or not bother, that I'm not interested in going because we are not together and we need to start acting like it.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
