Hopper, Your h is out there looking for something that isn't really there. He wants the fantasy, whereby there are actually no strings attached. What he's doing is feeding his ego and when it comes to you and who you are...there is a lot of work to love and commitment comes along w/the package.
Keep in mind, this is your h's journey and you weren't invited on it. He's out there searching for something to fill the hole deep inside of him that was left when he was emotionally stunted as a child. Happiness comes from within and not from outside sources and he's got to learn all of this before he can grow up and be a mature man.
He knows that you love him and that you are "waiting" for him. He knows what he is doing is huring you, but he's doing it anyway because it makes him feel better and it gives him that rush he needs to feel better about himself.
You didn't break him, therefore you can't fix him. Please don't take his actions personally because this is all about him and him only.
BTW, he's no where near hitting bottom and it's going to take a long time before he does. He's not hit enough brick walls to make him realize that he's going to lose everything good in his life.
Keep the focus on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
