Long distance affairs feed off the fantasy and quite frankly, they really get to know all of the ugly warts and behaviors of each other. If your ex does move to another state and is in close contact, even possibly living w/the op, it won't take long for the "shine" to wear off the affair. They will have to deal w/the day-to-day responsibilities and yes, all of the nasty little warts will come to the surface and they will eventually see the truth of each other. The affair will have to die a natural death in order for them to realize that life doesn't sit still for their fantasy life.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
