ILYBINILWY

[Soul.Searching]

As for the withholding, I completely understand where your coming from CV.
At the same time I think most men don't understand that, they see it as you not finding him attractive, that you don't want him. I don't think a lot of men really understand the emotional side that women do. Have you tried to explain your reasons to him?

I'm the same as you with things like toenails etc (One of the reasons H left me. LOL) I do paint my toes but i don't redo them before they start to fade. If I go a few days with imperfect toe nails, than so be it.
You don't care much about it but what if your H did?

The same goes for his office, yes I agree used tissues laying around is just gross but it clearly doesn't bother him! He needs to want to make changes for him.

My H used to make comments here and there about my weight. Sure I have weight I can loose but I'm not huge. It doesn't bother me that much because I'm comftable. If I was huge than yeah, I'd accept what H said but I didn't see it should be a problem for him. He put on weight and it never bothered me.
Now wearing a costume for six days, I'm motivated to try to loose some.
I did feel a little self conscious, so it's motivation for me.

I tried CV, I really tried so hard to make my marriage work. I put up with a lot. Constant lying, being dropped in a seconds notice, if someone else wanted H to do something. Feeling like he only wanted me for s@x. Verbal abuse and anger.
I realize now, there was nothing I could have done. He was never going to change, not for me at least.

Trying to change someone is never going to work,.,, He will only change,., if he decides to,.. By himself.

Keep working on you.