Yes, H will definitely tell you that he wants to improve the M. He's going to counseling right now because of an ultimatum I gave him a little while back. I don't pursue what he discusses with his counselor, but occasionally he offers. Several weeks ago, he explained to me that he had worked with his counselor to put in a place a boundary limiting how much/how often we talk. More specifically, if we weren't done at 15 minutes, he could just walk away. I know that discussions make him incredibly uncomfortable, even within the first 30 seconds. I was reading up on this at the same time and learned that it's a common trait for men, that there are physical changes that take place in them, that it causes intense fear in them. I realize this doesn't apply to all men, but it definitely applies to H. I understand it and empathize with it to the best of my ability, considering I just can't relate personally. Conversation is my #2 love language.
In response, I have not had one conversation with him since. His entire attitude has changed. He has complemented me a hundred times on how wonderful I've been. He wants to touch, to invite me to do things with him, to have sex. None of these are things I want right now, nor are these "changes" in the format of what our R has always been. He has merely reverted back to what he used to be. But I've continued to not have conversations with him nonetheless. I don't expect that to change anytime soon, because I really don't desire to have a conversation with him anyway, knowing he's timing me, so we both win. This will very much become a habit for me.
The problem is, I don't believe eliminating conversation does anything to improve our M. But it is what H wanted, and he seems very happy with it.
And according to him, my letting him know what I want from him qualifies as "conversation."
