I agree with LIS On the crying. Let it out. It goes away. I am not ashamed even as a man I bawled my eyes out for a while. I cannot cry anymore but still working on the hurt. Let it out kiddo. Then when you are with the kids you can be strong.

M17 yrs.
me49
xW47
d15
d11

BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out)
Therapy 9 months (tried 2)
BD2- May/12(sep)
Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50
Sold home - Aug/13
Court #2 - Dec/13
Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again
We settled.