Hi Kaffe. Why do you feel she can make her M better? I haven't been here long enough nor heard enough to draw a conclusion. But I'm interested in why you think she could (might help me too). I actually see her H being in another room, and willingly, while also saying he doesn't want to talk about it as a big red flag. Now, that's not to say that each don't own their share, but I'm not entirely sure that H is willing to work either. And sometimes it is just easier to be detached from it. I know. I have done some time there. I definitely felt I was the WAS when he wanted to reconcile and I was on the fence. The funny thing is that when I did try? Nothing got better. NOthing changed. The drinking was the same. And, for my part, the way I handled it (not very productive) was also the same. I am just not convinced the answer is CV doesn't want it to work.
I genuinely want to understand what help she is looking for. What does she want to talk through? I fear taking a hard line approach, although CV said she appreciates it. But whichever side we're on, there is a lot of pain. It's just a matter of what approach breaks through it. She is suffering. We are always at least somewhat responsible for the suffering, but it's suffering just the same. It's like a cancer patient who smoked dying in the hospital. I mean we can sit there and accuse them of being responsible for the cancer or we can hold their hand through the suffering and figure out what support they need. And Kaffe? I'm not preaching. Because you have clearly stuck with CV and someone doesn't do that unless they care. You can be the doctor in the cancer scenario making the patient do the right things and I'll be the friend holding her hand by the bed. We need both, don't we?
Sorry CV. Don't mean to be talking about you on your thread as if you aren't there. LOL.
