finding my way

[Sweetbriar]

GTO..I can relate to the occasional break down at IC. I go every week and he has been so proud of my accomplishments since H left. He also compliments me on how great I look and well Im carrying the baby! BUT..there are those weeks that I just lose it and I have an appt tomorrow and Im scared it may be a lose it week. I cannot stop crying tonight and just the thought of going in there tomorrow and talking to him makes me cry!! Im a wreck!

I think the anger and edginess is normal. I feel it too. It took everything in my power to not be nasty during my texting with H today. He was being so negative and mean and I still didn't lash out with hurtful things. I don't know how you do it with having to see H. I don't even see mine anymore. He doesn't come in the house at all when he comes here. I know its better, but its also hurtful...you would think he would at least be curious about my belly getting big...NOPE! I am happy for you that your H comes and takes the kids to activities and is still staying involved. Its good that your kids are open to that. Mine are soooo hurt by their dad and hardly see him.

I also hate limbo land...this crap with our H's OWs is crazy. I just will never get it. I actually don't really know if I'm in limbo anymore...beginning to see it as the end for our M. I hate to give up hope...but I also hate to keep hanging on to something that clearly isn't there (after today's texts!)

I also think that the jealously of your friends R heading in the right direction is normal. I tend to be jealous now of all my good friends and their H's. We are missing our family and our spouse and it has to be normal to yearn for that reconnection that we pray for everyday. I find that I would just love a baby step. ANYTHING...

You do have a lot of blessings in your life..I will pray for you as well tonight when I do my own prayers. That our God leads our Hs back to our families where they are needed and loved the most.

Thinking about you tonight...