I agree with pretty much everything that has been said above. I was in your situation - lawyers and everything - even went through with the divorce. BUT - things with now XW have gotten better. Why? Because at the urging of 25 and other savvy vets here, I really, really, REALLY dove in on ME and tried to just be......well, "better". It's OK to be sad, hurt and angry at times....comes with the territory. However, learn to control your emotions and actions or they will control you.
Bruce, you have to prepare yourself to settle in for the long haul. There is no silver bullet here - I have been on the path that you are on and right now your best friends are time, patience, introspection and forgiveness. Make the most of all of them, friend - it is your path to being.....well, "better".
