Carole, you really need to distance yourself from all this crazy drama. Don't get all wrapped up in the things OW says... refuse to even listen to any of it. Tell H what you need from him: To cut off all contact and be totally transparent with you. Block her number(s) change his email accounts, whatever it takes.

Stop trying to convince him to drop her. Just tell him what you need him to do and leave it up to him.

And you are right, only his actions count, his words mean nothing. Be tough now or prepare yourself for many more months of his EA.

If OW threatens suicide again it should be reported to 911. If she's serious then she needs professional help. If she's bluffing to get H to cave, (much more likely) then spending some time under observation may be just what she needs.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl